I'm so tired . I'm tired of waiting , but still got to . just for 1 simple reason because i love hhim . i need hhim to stay in my life . aft 2 week of waiting another 3 weeks came silently . i only can accept it with a smile . keep repeating our self tht we missing each others lots is meaningless . i know hhe miss me tht goes to me too . i miss hhim too .

missing him && loving him is what i use to do this few mths . there no regret of me to know him until now . meeting him nearly for 3 day a week is a need and a want for me . He is my vitamin . I need his love to survive , somehow i know im independent enffu to living without him . I don't know when i will be there leaving him & dun dare to imagine my life without him .

I know he tried very hard to get his ass in my life ... trying very hard every day , every moment . hhe did accept all my nuisances every times , even aft his tired and sick time . my lil luff-ter will get over hhis angry-ness toward me every times . can see how hard time he have with me . this is partly of my expectation for been my boyfriend . not all boyfriend can tolerate girlfriend nuisances everyday he did it ! . (:

sometimes he lead me to the past of me . how caring and concern i am && how selfish my ex is . now, different . im the one been selfish and well him ? is the one been so concern && caring of me . i knew treating him liddat is hurting hhim . I can't stop myself for treating him liddat . he alway wishing i can treat him as how i treat my ex . i knew i can't . the past lead me pains && hurts . until now i still the same lil girl who kena hurt deeply before and left wit a big scar behide it .

he did gave me his promise before . he promise me tht the big scar i had will be my history now and forever wit him . he won't make tht history repeat . promise ? this word no longer in my dictionary anymore ever seen tht day im hurt . i , myself believe promise is a lies & there isn't forever love . how much salivas he wasted on me to tell me he && the one hurting me loads is different .

he alway stand by me no matter good or bad things happen . i can't say tht there no good friend around me but they won't be there alway with me . only he no matter good or bad things he will be there be my listening ear . he not only listening only he did gimme moral support and precious advise .

ohhyas , remember hhe asked me is friend impt then him . maybe i feel weird for times been but im confirm tht i no need them as friends . cause they do only help me by making me go school and helpping to pass projects to teachers. the rest ? i can't see any good points of them anymore . they dun help me as much as pushing me to death . so there no need for me to feel bad for losing them . if friends worth me for to know they will nv leave me in the dark . not i selfish . bud i just can't stand the way of alone standing in the dark . i still have friend tht never push me to the dark side . im glad i haf them with me tht time . so dunch worryy ue alway be the first in mhy heart.

i just wanna tell him tht i can't stand waiting for hhim another 2 weeks mre . i tired of waiting le . tht bits bits pain of mine making me crazy abt uue . i dun want to have this type of chance waiting for you le can ? promise this is the last time letting me waiting for ue . can ? ):