Monday, March 30, 2009

2nd month of my baby ......

today nothing special . i stay at home the whole day because Goh Sa Sa 5th month anni . HAPPY ANNI GOH SA SA nnd Wu Ya . ((: . Hope you guys enjoy ur dating .

I did't sleep well today . cause i expecting tht person calls . he told me he loves me alots . ahahahahs . he told me he jealous of my ex boyfriend . then i must say further down this road you are the one who make people jealous wit . cause ue can fcuk until i pregnant and 1 word . we cannot afford to give ue 20k then ue can go like winds blowing . HAHAHAHAS . responsible for you is to bring me go poly clinic to check and pay for the doctor fee . ehhhs . ue can keep tht lil money to go for aids check up nahhs hors . LOL .

your mother and aunt give me the promise of finding the 20k but in the end .. your mum sound like she can only afford 1k or even lesser . LOL . i checked .... KKH . going for an abortion now at abt 2 month plus is about 1.2 k or even sightly more . gimme 1K ? go for private clinic ? no need to tell me you guys want to bring me . cos bring me there isn't responsible enffu . at this point i realise ..... In your years of education you mother teachs you to say lies . cause they want to go off so tell me they try to find 2oK . LOLS . When you try to fcuk me you told me you will be responsible if unfortunate happen . LOLS . this call 家教 (jia jiao - family education) ? this is your disgusted mother teachs you ? ahahahas , yeas . i scolded her vulgar . so ? she deserved . as a mother you teach your 21 yrs old kids to tell such no responsible lies . ahahahs

SaSa give me a hotline for single mother pregnancy . let say ue dunno what to do nw . you might able to contact them ... i called . sudden i found a ans ... she opened my door . she talk to me nicely .... she tell me tht if i think conscience really dun allow me to kill him then we shall have him . (: thier can have him if i want too . no people give ue support nbm . their give me . i need help i can call her . yes . i make the decision .... but somehow my aunt call again . she insist to make my mind change ... everything back to square 1 .......

seriously .... i feel very tired ..... very very ...
that time i inside lock up , i reflected ..... my friend shited i clean .... i shited everyone push the fault to me back .... aft tht i avoid them .. my "boyfriend" tell me to learn to see friend . stop hanging with them ... now ..... i and him tgt created a baby tgt ... he push the fault to me as i dunno what i want then go ... 1 questions since i cannot make the decision did he tolerate my confuse and understand my feeling 1st before i have a ans . no he nv . he choose to listen to his mama and go .. left me ...

i smile and say alright .... i cannot walk out of here then i shall take back what he own me . (: if can .. i shall let him go ... i not going to let my kid know he got a father tht dun want to carry the lil responsible he have too . accompany when i need and understand me isn't another wayy to do his responsible ? but he nv try too .. i need someone to know im easy get tired . im easily can frausrated now or before . but he nv try to learn his mistake ...

I'm like standing in the boat which in the big big sea . i dunno where i heading to .. if i let the winds blows liddat . i might meet big stone tht cause my boat to crush . if i struggle with the wind i might not be able cos i'm alone . i'm alone to fight for living .

i really need a moral support tht will understand how i feel and pei me walk the following road alone . i will never found 1 . cause only understand what i thinking is people who pregnant before marriage and at the young age of mine . *SMILES*

3/30/2009 07:32:00 PM